reasons to marry a madman

He is beautiful when he laughs and hasn't shaved.

He wears a blue plaid robe when he is at home,
and any one of the innumerable visitors that come tromping
through the front door are bound to giggle in appreciation of his honesty.

Sometimes I tell him to close his legs and everyone smiles.


He is above all things kind. Naturally kind.

He always remembers what to put in the cart for me at the grocery store.
Canned mandarin oranges, Avocados, Fresh ground espresso for the machine,
Angel hair pasta.

He lets me cry irrationally and thinks about Star Trek while squeezing the tears out of me.

He likes to pretend he is an alien but I know better.
He is just a rare human.
The kind I love the most.

snooze

I slept the sleep of the guilty yesterday. solid and peaceful.

I am guilty of worry.

It is what carries me through the assignments I give myself.
Art is a horrible thing and they shouldn't teach it in schools. It only leads to self-doubt and humiliation at ones own hand.

Being a truck driver or a secretary or a bartender even, does not do these things to ones soul. they are tasks which let the mind skim the surface of things like a water lily.

first poem in ages

the wind blows a little harsher than i wish
but someone has told me stories of a Pittsburgh wedding

and i remember that the wind is so much harsher in Pennsylvania.

people wave at me while they sit on my property
but in Philly i never would have risked sitting on my porch

so i smile and remember where i put my wallet.

no one from here will ever know what it means when I say
"Philadelphia."

it is a cultural language to them. not an existence.

they like the meanings of words, not feelings.

fear.

the kind that changes your opinion of humanity if you are not wise. that is Philadelphia- a fire so hot with hell your body adjusts it's temperature to survive.

in Portland fear is only embodied by ones own self-destruction.

they do not know what the others bring.

Got Back On

Got Back On
Originally uploaded by jumper cables.

This is me on a horse after being chucked from the first one I tried to ride. Yeah. I'm from Jersey. What I lack in experience I make up for in Balls.

one step closer

Anyone who follows this blog probably knows I've been working on filming a trailer for a contemporary western indie feature I want to make. well this past weekend I finally got to say "thats a wrap" and am officially moving into the editing phase.

needless to say i spent more money on the damned thing than i wanted to (welcome to the movies, right?) but every penny was definitely worth it. I shot it on the brand spanking new panasonic HVX-200 HD camera and was the first narrative production in Portland to use it.

As soon as I find my digital camera in this wreck of a post-production house I shall post a few photos. But here is the outline of the crazy shit that went down the last few weekends on location in Portland OR, Toppenish WA, and Maupin (or at least thats the closest town) OR.

A) 4 am call time first day of shooting cuz we were shooting in a bar. 2 hr break and we drove 3 hrs to Washington and all got lost along the way.
B) Car crash right next to us b/c people were staring at us instead of driving.
C) got owner of a laundromat's permission to graffiti the building if we painted over it.
D) police nearly arrested Jen my producer and Efrem, one of grip guys, for vandalism while i was off the set for 45 minutes.
E) right before we left mexican gangsters whose graffiti was right next to ours came by a threatened us to get out of THEIR town.
F) We were shooting scenes with horses and I, dumbass that I am attempted to ride a broken wild mustang having never ridden a horse before and it took off with me with only one foot in the stirrup and so I fell and barely missed getting kicked in the head or knocking my head on large sharp rocks. but i got back on later that day.

thats the short version.

Screenings of the finished product will be held at Sabbalahs and The Know at the end of the month in Portland OR. along with a sweet lineup of bands that include my personal favorites- Party Country, The Disaster, and lots more...No dates have been finalized. Trust me when I say, I will keep you posted.